Anne's Message: Bitter Roots.

Lord,
Make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light, and
Where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
St. Francis of Assissi

"The power of choice is real.
We can . . .
Choose to love--rather than hate.
Choose to smile--rather than frown.
Choose to build--rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere--rather than quit.
Choose to praise--rather than gossip.
Choose to heal--rather than wound.
Choose to give--rather than grasp.
Choose to act--rather than delay.
Choose to pray--rather than despair.
Choose to forgive--rather than curse.
Each day brings a new opportunity to choose. What kind of choices will you make today?"

Last week I spoke about forgiveness – someone hurts you and you forgive them – and yes – I’m still for it!

You are probably wondering what’s in the container? (Show crabgrass)

Crab Grass! Two kinds: Hairy and smooth. Bitter Roots. Annual grass, dies in fall by first frost, survives by seeds buried just under the top roots of the regular grass system.Bitter Roots. Quack grass would probably have been a better example because the roots are underground creepers, but I don’t have any in the garden whereas I have lots and lots of crab grass. But with both – you have to pull them out of the ground to get rid of it. With crabgrass it is important to get it pulled out before it goes to seeds.

So what are “bitter roots” or bitterness and what has it got to do with crabgrass?

Bitterness is a response to unfair use of power. Bitterness is the un-harvested fruit of anger It is that hateful, spiteful sourness in the heart that creeps in when you have been or think you have been, maliciously wronged. Bitter Roots. I looked up the word in a dictionary, and it was defined as a sharpness affecting the taste, the feelings or the mind. It comes from an old English word that meant "sharpness to the taste".

What has bitter roots or bitterness got to do with crabgrass? In order to get rid of crabgrass for good, it has to be pulled out root by root and if you have waited until after the grass has seeded – well you have to do it all over again next year– root by root. The seeds lie in wait under the regular grass to surface as grass again next year!

What happens when in response to unfair use of power we bury our anger? Well, it becomes a root of bitterness. The anger buries itself deep in our character. We think that by pushing it far down we have gotten rid of it ‘Out of sight and out of mind” Like the crabgrass seed the bitter root grows and spreads and shapes all different aspects of our character.

As a result forgiving takes a lot of digging! Every time we find another expression of that root of anger, we need to pull it out and forgive again and again and again, until the bitter root is pulled out - every little tendril.

The need to forgive repeatedly happens in our closest relationships with family, parents, brothers and sisters, but it also happens in the workplace and in our social lives as well as with governments, political oppressors and so on…

It is not wrong to feel anger. Bitter Roots. Proverbs 16:32: He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh the city.Bitter Roots. Anger is an emotion that every human being experiences at times. We should in fact be angry when we see injustice and bad treatment toward human beings. God is angry when He sees the things that sinful people commit, that bring sorrow and tragedy to others who are innocent. He never wanted humans to kill one another or to exploit one another. The sin is not in experiencing anger, but rather in how we deal with it. We can turn our anger into prayer, which in turn can change the things we see that are wrong. If we allow our anger to turn into vindictiveness and we practice the same kind of evil that was sent our way, then we become just as guilty as the one whom we are angry at. We are to overcome evil with good and not render evil for evil.

Romans 12:17-21: Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through. Don’t quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Dear friends never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for He has said that He will repay those who deserve it. Don’t take the law in your own hands. Instead feed your enemy if he is hungry. If he is thirsty give him something to drink and you will be heaping coals of fire on his head. In other words, he will feel ashamed of himself for what he has done to you.Don’t let evil get the upper hand but conquer evil by doing good.

In Collossians 3:20,21: Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

This is the fifth commandment with a little add-on from Paul. We are to honour our parents, but they in turn are to be people of honour, so that the children may not be embittered or driven to bitternes

s.

In the time that this was written, Fathers had absolute power over their families. The very life of their children was in their hands. If a father, for whatever reason choose to use that power in unfair ways the child had no recourse. There was no way a child could get back at a father. There was no higher law that a child could appeal to, and disobedience could cost a child his life. If a child chose to respond in anger, it would have to be repressed, swallowed, because there was no way at getting back at dad.
What was true in Paul's day is still true today. Granted, parents don't have such absolute power. But like in Paul's day, parents still use or apply the power they have in unfair ways. They use power unfairly because they are merely human, they are imperfect, they don't see issues as we see them as children, they are not given all the information. Whatever the reason, in the minds of children, a parent’s application of power will at times be unfair. I suspect that every parent here has heard at least some of his children give the response: "That's not fair." And if you are young today thinking that when you have kids, you are going to be perfectly fair, I'll dare be prophetic and tell you you will be unfair with your children, maybe not in your eyes but definitely in their eyes.

Just as in Paul's day, children in this day and age respond to what they perceive to be the unfair use of power over them and sometimes they respond in anger, judging their parents for being the imperfect sinful people they are. And if they do not find a way or choose not to resolve their anger, they bury it and go on with life only to find out they have sown a seed (just like the seeds from the crab grass) that will affect them for years to come. That is called the root or the seed of bitterness.

I am using the example of parents, but it could just as well be someone in authority, who has wronged you in some way.

Hebrews 12:13 "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

The Bible warns that the root of bitterness will spring up, and when it does, what does it do? Cause good things to happen? No! Cause joy? No! Cause love? No! Cause peace? No! "See to it...that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble!"

See to it "that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

It seems clear, in a culture in which pop psychology has blamed parents for all of children's ailments and troubles, we need to return to the word of God, which calls a spade a spade, and recognize the destructive power of bitterness in the human heart. It has the power to shape our character causing us to hurt ourselves and others, it has the effect of distorting our perception of others.
Think about it!
You have been snubbed by the receptionist, at the doctor’s or lawyer’s office and it caused such trauma that you – maybe without knowing it – is very cold and curt towards ALL receptionists.
Why?
Because in your mind, NO receptionist, is worth your grace. So you have judged someone for being graceless and you yourself have become a person without grace for others. The characteristics you judged in someone else are now exuding out of you. Hebrews calls this "defiling many" or “hurting many in their spiritual lives”. The truth is that when we judge someone and we do not resolve our anger but let it become a bitter root within our lives, what goes around comes around because we have let the very thing that we have judged shape our characters so that we also become worthy of judgement. And as anger shapes our character it makes us see the world through different coloured eyes and affects and defiles others around us. Matthew 7:1: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Bitterness has the power to keep us from relationships, especially relationships with authorities or those who are more powerful than we are. There is no authority higher than God. If the root of bitterness makes us avoid especially God, we might miss the grace of God.
We as a culture, starting in the church need to turn back to honouring our parents and others in authority. When it comes to roots of bitterness, the heart of honouring is to forgive our parents, to forgive those in authority over us.

Let’s talk about pulling up bitter roots. The most authentic expression of honouring or attributing worth to our parents or those in authority over us is to do what we don't feel like doing. Forgiving them can be a difficult and long journey.

Forgiving starts with the recognition that we have been hurt and that hurt has result in feelings that include anger or bitterness. We don't dig out crabgrass unless we recognize that it is there. We don't dig up crabgrass unless we recognize that it is not wanted.
The first stage in getting rid of a bitter root is recognizing how destructive it is in our lives.
Once we know we have bitter roots and we want to get rid of them, the question is, how do we go about doing that?
Getting rid of bitter roots within our hearts starts with a decision - the decision to forgive. This is a decision of the will to forgive, a saying in the heart even though we don't feel it in our emotions even to the slightest degree: "I forgive!"
Finally - to return to honour is to do unto our parents, as you would have had them do unto you. We think we are people who live by the golden rule, but we excuse ourselves from the golden rule to our parents because of past injustices. The truth is, we are to do to our parents, as we would have had them do to us.
The Ten Commandments: the significance of God's Laws in Everyday Life , by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Rabbi Stewart

Once upon a time when families lived in extended units, with children and grandparents living together there was a home in which a man lived with his son, daughter in law and grandchildren. The meals they ate together were always a wonderful time of sharing. As the years went by, the man's health began to decline. He couldn't help as much around the house, and his hands began to shake. He sometimes would spill his food on the table or even on the rug.
One day when he was shaking particularly badly the spoon he was holding in his bowl broke, spilling the food all over. The son said to his father in anger and frustration, "Dad, I can't take this any longer. Can't you control yourself? You will just have to eat by yourself in your room." And so the son gave his father a wooden bowl that could not break, and for every meal would bring food to the father's room.
Time went by and the meals at the dining-room table were much quieter and neater. The old man was very lonely eating his meals in his room, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to make his son even more upset.
Several weeks later the son came home and found on of his children making something out of wood.
"What are you making?" he asked.
"I am making a wooden bowl," answered the young boy.
"It is very nice, but what will you use if for?"
"Oh, it is not for me, Dad, it is for you."
"For me? Wonderful! Maybe we can keep fruit in it," said the dad.
The son answered, "It is not for you yet, Dad. I am saving it for when you get older and your hands begin to shake. When I see it is to hard for you to eat with us, then I will give it to you so you can eat in your room."
The father silently walked into the house and went to his own father's room. "Dad, I'm so sorry for what I have done. How many years did you take care of me, assuring me that I would grow out of my clumsiness? Never once did you make me eat a meal in my room; and look and what I have done to you. Can you ever forgive me for not giving you the respect you deserve?"
That night the old man returned to the dining-room table. Though the table was a little less quiet and a little less neat, the family was whole."

Return to honour by returning to those things in the lives of our parents that were values worth building our lives on.

When we forgive, we both honour and enable honour. When we forgive, we live by the Spirit of this command: "Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

There's something else : Forgive and forget. How can you forget something negative that's stuck in your mind? The Bible says God remembers our sins no more; so how can God forget something when He is omniscient? How can He know everything and still forget? Here's the thing; When you forgive and forget, the forgetting means that you, like God, don't hold that wrongdoing to the offender's account. God forgets the charge against us; He remembers it no more. Oh, He knows about it, just as you do, but He will never bring it up again. That's what we are to do. Don't fish the pond of history; leave it there.
Sometimes we are like the man who came running into the office of a marriage counsellor. “Sir, you've got to do something about my wife. She's historical, she's historical!"... The counsellor said," You mean she's hysterical."... He said, “No, she's historical! She's bringing up everything from the past!"
Some people can go back and reel off in chronological order everything that a person has done against them during their entire relationship. If you forgive a person, forget their offences and never bring them up again. Don't dwell in the past and don't let the past dwell in you.
Do you have some trees of bitterness standing in your life? Bitterness towards God? Towards others? Towards yourself? Cut them down and forget them! Resolve to deal with your bitter spirit.

The world has two solutions: Keep the bitterness in , and make yourself sick, or let it out and spread sickness around. God’s solution is to dig up the root and expose it to the Son. The Son will wither and dry the root of bitterness through the grace of forgiveness and the spiritual weapons that are provided for His sheep.
The weapons at our disposal are the weapons of prayer, faith and love.

Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children: and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us, and has given himself for us and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.

Amen.